Reupload - November 2023 Blog

What happened?

Nothing too exciting this month. A few relatives had birthdays. Went to my uncle’s surprise 60th birthday party, which is a risky game at his age. But he loved it and had a good time, and I got to eat delicious Jamaican food and see a bunch of my cousins. I hadn't seen them in years, so it was great to catch up. 

I actually spent some time with my brother for his birthday. We’re not as close as I’d like, but it was nice to hang out. His girlfriend and baby were there too, and Nephew decided to claim the present I got my brother. It was a hot water bottle shaped like a triceratops, very soft and apparently very huggable. Nephew also tried some chocolate cake, which he loved. He can sort of say and sign "more", which he does at the same time. And, man, did he want more cake. My brother and his girlfriend were breaking off smaller pieces of cake for him, eventually just sprinkling crumbs onto his highchair in the hopes that picking up such tiny pieces would slow him down. It didn’t work. He just slammed his hand onto the high chair tray and licked the crumbs off his hand.

Nephew does know a few signs, in both British and American Sign Language. The BSL we’ve been teaching him, and the ASL he learnt from Miss Rachel. Because it’s not enough for non-US kids to pick up American English from TV, they’re now picking up ASL. Still, he knows the BSL for pig, which he does with a surprisingly realistic impression of the animal.

In other news, Mum quit the job we both work at and I’m sad about it. She has a new, better, job, and I’m happy for her, but I miss working with her. She’s also out during the day, which means I get the house to myself a lot more. My other problem is my dislike of change. Not only are there new people at work, but my own routine there has changed. I’m now the cleaner who’s worked there the longest and it’s up to me to keep on top of everything. I liked cleaning because it was something physical, fairly easy, and routine I could do for two hours with my brain switched off, then come home and write. Hopefully, I’ll be back at university next year and can finally quit. And have more interesting things to write about.

What I read

A History of English Costume - Iris Brooke

God dammit. This book was great for the first ninety percent. It was detailed, but easy to get through, and I loved the illustrations. It gave me so many ideas for clothing in my fantasy novel. 

Then, with eight pages to go, the author ruins the book forever by describing a shade of brown as “n-word brown” and I wanted to throw the book across the room. It came right the fuck outta nowhere, and wasn’t repeated, and I still don’t know what possessed the author to write that. I mean, the book was first published in the 30s and the edition I read was from the 50s, but still.

Hopefully I never have to read the n-word in a book for the rest of the year.

Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

God dammit.

This book was a load of fucking wank. Maybe I’m just a big dumb dummy who couldn’t understand the nuance of the deep dark heart of darkness deep in the dark of the darkest continent. Look, I know the protagonist and all the other characters are supposed to be bad people. I understand that their racism doesn’t reflect the author, and in depicting these colonial pricks exploiting natives in the Congo, the author is trying to shed a light on the abuses these people committed. I don’t have a problem with that.

My problem is the themes the author is trying to explore, and the depiction of the Black people themselves. The limits of this book are in the messaging: that white people, by colonising, murdering and enslaving Black people, are just as savage as Black people… who were just minding their own business on their own land. Man, it’s a fucking mystery. Not only that, but the Africans were cannibals. Because of course. This Goodreads reviews sums this up better than I ever can. And I don't often say that about Goodreads reviews.

There was an actually powerful, effective scene near the start of the book, where the protagonist has first arrived at this outpost and sees for himself the exploitation. He sees the Natives forced to work on a railroad, and tries to hide from it in the shade of the jungle, and sees it’s a spot where Black people go to die. There’s countless bodies in amongst the trees, of people who had been left to die when they were no longer useful, no longer have the strength to work for the whites. I’ll admit this did the job of absolutely horrifying me.

Like with War of the Worlds (I'll write a review of that in my end-of-year look at every book I've read in 2023), I can understand how these books were important at the time while being aware of their limitations, and glad we now have a wealth of books on colonialism written by the people actually affected by it. 

History of Men’s Costume - Marion Sichel

About 11 years ago, I used to volunteer in my school’s library. One day, the librarians were boxing up old books to donate and I took an interest in a pile of historical clothing reference books. The librarians let me keep them, to my absolute delight. 

Do I feel bad that these books were supposed to be donated? Yes. But also I probably did those kids in “Africa” (country never specified) a favour by saving them from having to look at dusty old pictures of colonisers. 

I’ve used these books over the years for various pieces of fanart and OC art, but never actually read through them. The writing's a bit dry, but no racial slurs found, so there’s that. Some of the drawings are a bit shit too, with weird proportions, especially arms. 

You see what I mean? The guys at the front look weird as shit.

The Art of Robots - Amid Amidi

I’ve had this book since about 2010 and never got round to reading it. I was weirdly obsessed with the 2005 film Robots as a teen and this book was a Christmas present to reflect that. I still love robots in general, and the art was beautiful. I always love seeing people talk about their art and creative process, and there were a few things in the art book that never made it into the finished movie that I learnt about. Didn’t like the trans joke in the book and film. Haha Fender wears a skirt and is a girl now. I hate the 2000s. It's not even the worst trans joke in a kids' 2000s movie, but it still made my hole itch.

Costume Reference 1 - Marion Sichel

This book gave a brief overview of some classical eras’ fashion (a little too brief tbh) then going into more detail on mediaeval fashion, from Saxons to Plantagenets. Still not enough detail for my liking, but it’s still an okay reference book. Even though I have a whole stack of these, each dedicated to its own era, I still feel like the Iris Brooke one went into more detail.

I’ll be keeping the Marion Sichel books (minus the men’s costume one, since it just repeats what’s in the other books), but only until I can find my perfect costume reference book.

Ghosts: The Button House Archives

Reading this made me want to marathon Ghosts so now I’m still behind on my challenge. I'll have to read a book every two days to make it, but I will.

I liked a lot of the background information it gave me about the ghosts, particularly their backstories. The account of Mary’s witch trial was particularly enlightening. 

I wish there’d been some transcripts of some of the handwritten notes. Those hurt to read at times.